22 September 2008 – Laughter…The Best Medicine

 

• Hangover: The wrath of grapes.
• Income Tax: Capital punishment.
• A used car is not always what it’s jacked up to be.
• To my sweetheart: My cooking’s gotten better since I fondue.
• A robber broke into the police station and stole all the toilet seats, and the police didn’t have anything to go on.
• Egotist: One who is me-deep in conversation.
• Did you hear about the woman who started dating rakes and fell on hard tines?
• Archeologist: A man whose career lies in ruins.
• Kleptomaniac: One who can’t help himself from helping himself.
• Did you hear about the snake who gave birth to a bouncing baby boa?
• Once I got angry at an Italian restaurant, so I gave them a pizza my mind.
• The fish secretary lodged herself in a pipe and could no longer type. Her doctor said, “This is a clear case of ‘Carp in tunnel’ syndrome.”
• California smog test: Can UCLA?
• Q: How did the pig with laryngitis feel? A: Dis-gruntled.
• A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
• I know this guy who works at Sea World; but I don’t think it’s on porpoise…
• For as long as I can remember, I’ve had amnesia….
• Did you hear about the pregnant bedbug? She had her baby in the spring.
• What do you call three rabbits in a row, hopping backwards simultaneously? A receding hareline.
• Did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into the meatgrinder? He got a little behind in his work.
• ‘Tis better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.

Pam, Adu Dabi, Khol Eyeliner and The Auction – And the house that Pam Built – But Can’t Live In

There is a company that want to design boots and have Pam’s name on them.  I don’t know the name of the company that’s doing it for they either didn’t say the name of the company or I didn’t hear it.  Anyhoo.  The boots are like Ugh boots, but better, because they are not made from animal skin or fur.  Pam learned, just as I did, and you will too in a bit, that Ugh boots are made from lamb fur, but they kill the lamb.  She thought they shaved the lambs.  This upset her for she’s a die hard PETA supporter.

 

She is on her way to Abu Dhabi to auction off a dinner with her and a lucky person.  Her manager is having a meeting with the charity people.  Pam’s manager thinks there is some type of routine to be followed and one of the charity organizers says its just a do as you please type thing.  There’s no rules or anything.

 

Pam is going to auction herself off for the charity.  Montell Jordan (he sang, This is How We Do It) was the singer at the event.   Montell is going to assist in the auction by taking the bids.  Bidding started at 50K, then 75k, 100k, 150k, 190k, 230k, —- sold for $230,000. 

 

Pam’s house is still being built and Pam’s wants to be in the house when she gets back from Abu Dabi, and they (the contractors) don’t think that’s going to happen. 

 

Karen, Pam’s assistant, is looking for Khol eyeliner which Pam likes to wear while Pam is visits Ziad who is associated with a company called Hydra, a real estate company.  Pam is mostly interested in the green community that Hydra will building.

 

Karen didn’t have any luck finding the Khol eyeliner.  Everyone she asked pointed to her somewhere else and so forth.  She finally gave up and realized that what they had in that mall was the same thing she could find in a mall in America.  

 

Pam is going on a helicopter ride to look at the green community development in person.  Pam does not like helicopters but when she found out the pilot used to be a coast guard pilot she was comfortable going.

 

Meanwhile, back in Malibu, where Pam’s house is being built, they are very behind on schedule.  They brought an artitech out to help with the scheduling and such.  I don’t think even him can fix this problem.

 

I think some fool named Elias won the dinner with Pam because they showed her having lunch (they later had dinner) with him and she was asking him something about what they do to the camel’s hump (I couldn’t understand what Elias was saying and again they should have had subtitles).

 

Back at Adu Dhabi, Pam is attending a birthday party for someone.  I can’t understand the guy talking.  They should have had subtitles for those people over there in Abu Dabi talking to the cameras.  Oh ok.  Now I got it.  It was her son, Brandon, birthday party.  Geez.

  

After the birthday dinner Pam and Brandon decides to jump in a water fountain because its so hot.

 

The show ends with a quote from Kerouac.

 

“Why should I compromise with anything else, or the ‘bourgeois’ calm of the backyard lawn.”  Kerouac

 

March 12, 1922 – October 21, 1969