The Two Borings…I Mean, The Two Coreys

Posted: 2008/06/23 in Reality Tv
Tags: , , , , ,

Last night, 22 June 2008, was the premier of the second season of The Two Coreys and it more dramatic than the soap operas. The show picked up six months after Corey Haim got kicked out of the Feldman’s house, by Feldman’s wife Susie. My opinion of Susie will come in a later post when I have deleted all the foul words from my mind to describe her.

First, lets look at last seasons The Two Yawns. Well as everyone knows, anyone and everybody has a reality Tv show: Denise Richards, Deon Sanders, Hulk Hogan and now his son, Nick, will have one called Whatever you do, DO NOT drop the soap (check your local prison for dates and times), and so on, and so on. I could go on forever on who has a reality TV show. Well, these two 90’s teen idols decided to have their own show but apparently realized they couldn’t have one on their own, just like they couldn’t do a movie on their own, so they decided to do a show together and call it, what else, The Two Coreys.  How original, just like the premise of the show.

The premise.  Feldman and Haim have not seen each other in a long while.  I think Haim had been staying in Canada and decided to come back to L.A and while there, he was invited to stay at Felman’s house (fat house at that.  All kidding aside, its a very nice house and he’s a neat freak).  The season was only eight weeks.  I am not sure how long normal reality TV seasons are.

Feldman is now a married man and has a son (four at the time), but you wouldn’t have known that in the first season because Zen (that’s the child’s name – must be a descendant of River Pheonix’s family) was well hidden.  I found out he had a kid from a message board on Movie Database.  Feldman married a fan of his (opinion on that reserved for a later post) and Haim is still single.  Feldman is very clean cut, wears very nice clothes, lives in an very nice house, drives nice cars and is a changed man (from his days with Haim).  Haim, is just the opposite.  He’s not a neat freak, drinks like a Russian, smokes like s chimney and swears like a stable boy.  Both went through their drug days, but it seems Feldman came out a little better than Haim.

I happen to like both Coreys, but Feldman seems to have grown rather boring since getting married to Mrs. Boring.  Haim is still the crazy guy he ever was, and that’s where the clash came in to play.

From what I could tell from the first season, and it all has to do with editing (however, even without the editing) that Feldman’s wife is controlling.  In my opinion, she changed Feldman a lot, and not in a good way.  I understand that as we get older, some of us change, but he (Feldman ) seems very boring now.  He seems to have comprised a lot of himself for Boozie.  Again, this is my opinion.  I do not know Feldman from a can of paint.  As for Haim it seems he hasn’t changed much.  But again, I do not know him from a can of pain either.

I am not sure how long it had been since the two borings had seen each other before Haim moved in, but they were really glad to be back together and I was glad to see them together because I loved them (past tense), but as with any reality show that is crying for ratings, you have to have the unnecessary drama and the drama queen is….. drum roll please … Susie aka Boozie.  She was the thorn in Haim’s side because now Feldman didn’t smoke and didn’t do the things him and Haim used to do before Feldman got married and it all had to do with Boozie.

Fast forward throughout the season.  Feldman and Haim argued about the way Haim kept his room and the Feldman’s house, sloppy.  I would be upset too if someone came into my house and decided to leave things lying around or their room looked like a hurricane has gone through it, but it seems Feldman’s over the top anger was spawned by his wife’s ranting to him (Feldman) about Haim.  What caused those to go their seperate ways was when Haim said to Feldman that is wife is a “f*cking b*tch”.  This through Feldman over the edge and those two almost started Fight Club in Feldman’s kitchen.  But you know, Haim was right about Boozie.  To me, she was the root of all evil between Feldman and Haim.  So Haim left and that was that on that.

Now, there’s season two.  The two borings are really at odds with each other, or so they want us to think that, but they must talk to each other because, apparently, they are making Lost Boys 2 and in order for Feldman and Haim to be in the same room together, they need to put closure to things.  Now, here’s the weird thing, Boozie is the one encouraging Feldman to meet with Haim to talk things.  Yeah, Boozie…the root of all evil is the one telling Feldman that 20 years of friendship should be thrown away.  Go figure .

Wait, let me back track a bit.  Those two getting together is not just about the movie, its about their friendship, mostly.  Feldman can’t forgive Haim for what he called his wife.  Haim can’t forgive Feldman for being a prick.  And I can’t forgive myself for watching this show…and have it on Tivo.  Oh, who am I kidding…I live for this junk.

Well the two borings met up on last night’s episode and it came out that Haim was being molested when he was 14.  Oh please, what actor in Hollywood doesn’t have a molestation story.  Haim said that the guy that molested him became a friend of Feldman’s and that Feldman knew all about it but did nothing.  Feldman told Haim that he too was being molested and that Haim knew about it and also did nothing.  So the blame game was being heavely played last night.  The two borings decided to see a counselor and in the session the “he knew but did nothing” story came out between the two borings.  The counselor knew that Haim painted so she asked him to paint sadness, not anger, but sadness.  He started to paint, but didn’t finish.  I can’t wait to see his painting.  Haim has talent in that area and I hope he never stops painting.

I wish I could tell you the rest of the show, but I my eye lids had a different agenda.  I am going to finish it tonight and finish this post.  I just hope the show gets more exciting that what I have witnessed so far.  Oh wait, Todd Bridges (where do they find these people) will be on a episode when Feldman tries to do an intervention with Haim.  The plot thickens.

Until next time, caviar dreams and champagne wishes.  Darn you Robin Leach.

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