Denise decides to have a “white trash” weekend with her sister Michelle and her (Michelle’s) husband, Brandon by doing what they call “white trash” things, like fishing and dune buggy. Now, maybe its me, but I don’t see that being white trash, because I would love to go fishing and dune buggying (is buggying a word? Well, it is now) and I’m not white (well half of me is), nor am I trash. But that’s how society is. Oh well, I will not get on my soap box about that. I will post about the show.
Denise heads down to her sister’s house and that’s when she learns of what they will be doing. While talking Denise learns that her sister and husband hasn’t been out on a date and had private time together since August. Denise offers to watch the boys (D’s kids were somewhere – she didn’t have them this weekend) while Nellie (oh yeah, Denise and her sister call each other Nellie. Denise doesn’t know how that got started but its always been that way), and her husband go out on a date. She (D – yes Denise and I are that cool that she calls me Homeslice and I call her D – Smile) didn’t realize how different boys are from girls and that they are rougher. Nellie and Brandon are at a restaurant and they are a bit worried about D and the boys. Oh wait, I forgot something. Before Nellie and her husband left, Al, the 13 year-old asks D if he could have some friends over. D says if its alright with his mother its alright with her. As it turns out, it is alright with his mom.
Al’s friends show up, three of them and all 13 like Al. Denise is sitting on the couch with them and asks if they have girlfriends and they all say yes and I think one says he has an ex. She asks what do they do and one of the guys say they make out. D is flabber gasseded and if you ever had your flabber gasseded you know how painful it is. She can’t believe that 13 year-olds are talking about girlfriends and ex-girlfriends. She sends the boys up to Al’s room and tells them to behave. Yeah, right on that one, D. Remember I can call Denise D and she called me homeslice. Holla!
While upstairs in the room one of Al’s friends pulls out a Playboy issue with D on the cover. He asks Al if he wants to see the pictures of D and he says no because that’s his aunt. D, downstairs with the baby (I don’t know where the other little guy was) feels something is going on upstairs so she takes the baby and ventures into Al’s room and you guessed it, she walks in on them looking at the magazine. She confiscates the magazine and asked Al’s friends to leave. Al has one friend who doesn’t look like he has the sense God gave him. As Al’s friends are leaving they all shook D’s hand but this one fool. Whatever joker. Denise, I mean, D, decides its time to have the “talk” with Al. No, you clowns, not about the birds and the bees, but about her being in Playboy magazine. She asks him if he’s embarrassed and he says a little because she’s his aunt. She then asks him about the movie Wild Things and he tries to say he’s never seen it. She asks him again and he said he’s seen parts of it, stills of her with Neve Campbell from the movie are shown, implying that those were the parts Al has seen.
I have to digress for a second. As mentioned in an earlier post, if you have not seen Wild Things, I highly recommend you see it and don’t forget to stick around when the credits roll. Its a very good movie. A lot of twist and turns. Now back to our regularly scheduled post.
She asks him which parts and he claims he doesn’t remember. She lets it go. She asks if he has any questions and his one question is is she embarrassed to have posed nude and she says no. She says the human is beautiful. Ok, D. Only someone with a body like hers would say something like that. Inner peace, Nikki, Inner Peace. Ok, I’m better now.
Nellie and Brandon come home and D has the magazine on the counter and explains to them what happened and that she talked with Al and they were both fine with it. Nellie, however, was a bit shocked that one of Al’s friends brought over the magazine. I think I would be too if that was my son, but when you are 13, you’re dumb as sack of potatoes and do not seen the wrong some of the things you do. But as mentioned, all was well.
The next day, Nellie, Brandon and D go fishing. D is not for this at all. They go to this area where you can rent camp ground but people also live there in trailers. Nellie’s husband asks D to put a worm in the fishing line. D, not wanting to hurt the worm tries to tie it in a bow on the line. Inner peace, Nikki. Inner peace. D makes a few attempts at throwing the line into the water and after about the millionth time, she finally makes it. Brandon says he’s going to get the dune buggy ready and leaves. While sitting there with the baby, D get dirt thrown in her face and that was the end of that. No, the dirt being thrown was on purpose. She decides to pack it up and head on out. Before going fishing, they all head over to an indoor go cart racing place. Brandon, Al and Denise get in a car and race around the track….Well, let me back track. Brandon and Al do. D is going so slow that the turtle next to her by passed her a few times. Not sure what her deal was on that one. Finally, they head out to the dune buggies. D is not to keen on this one either. Brandon is driving and D is the passenger and after they are done she really enjoyed herself and wants to drive with Brandon as the passenger this time. When they get done and are about to head home, Al asks D to sign the Playboy magazine so he can sell it. She is cool with that and tells him to get lots of money for it. What a cool aunt, among other things.
The end shows D and Brandon in a Roudhouse bar with D inviting him to LA to get a spray tan, massage and manicure. He’s up for it since she did his thing this weekend. They leave the bar and that was the end.
Next week’s show: Denise feels she’s getting fat and wants to get fit and trim. She begins drinking those crappy drinks you make in a blender and she would rather gain weight than drink that crap. I’m with you sistah. Yes, I can call her sistah as well as calling her D. I told you, we are that cool with each other. Um, how about we keep that information between us. On about the previews. Her dad, Irv (hey, I got one right) finds dog pee in the hall and is a bit upset and has a kennel come and get the dogs and take them away. That was the previews, minus the part about how cool D and I are.
I am still confused on the “white trash” things, though.
Words Without Sound 